Im scared of matrimony..

Seriously, im not in any authority to talk about this as i am still very young.. barely reach the second decade of my life.. but from what i’ve seen right now.. it makes me feel scared about marriage.. joining two different families into one big family.. seriously, it is scary.. and there will always be voices that may like and dislike the new family member.. and i don’t think i have the heart to let anyone go through something like that.. especially someone i love so much.. just because the new family member is not used to the new culture.. that person is considered snobbish.. not friendly.. doesn’t know how to be in a family.. did they all forget that not everyone’s upbringing is the same to one another.. some family may take great care of family values but some might not care about it at all.. some were thought how to mingle with others, while some not.. and people still can’t accept this.. hey.. each individual have their own right to be who they are.. it is sad to see these happening.. pity that bride or groom.. you are not only marrying the person you love.. but the family to.. and if you can’t adapt to the new family style.. you just plain dead.. some are born friendly and some need time to become close to others.. and family mostly hope that they got the born friendly person.. looking at my future.. i might end up with the” need time to be close” people..
Another reason is i don’t have good role model to follow in order to bring up my family.. all i see is men who dominate women and treat them not so nicely.. this happens in real life and also the mass media.. and people say that we learn from what we see.. i don’t want to be like that.. but i have a tendency to be one.. damn.. pity the person who’s marrying me.. seriously.. im scared of marriage because of that.. family acceptance and role model..

*scared*