Seriously, am I still feeling it?

The breakup has been 5 months. To be honest, I am still affected by it. Some say seriously, you still feel the remorsefulness? Yes, I am very much still affected by it. Hey, it was not a short relationship okie. It was 3 years. Yeah, we had our on and off sessions. Found someone else in between but we were never separated. Now, the separation is for real and I cannot accept it. Yeah, call me weak; I just could not care because that is the truth. I am weak now. And life is no comfort since the only thing it is giving to me is more and more trials. Thanks life, I really need it. Blergh.

Then, today I saw Tower. Yes, someone that I used to fancy so much, I lost my love because of the whole crush. Yes, that person. To be frank, my feeling for Tower has lessen tremendously since the breakup, maybe because I somehow blame Tower for the incident when the fault is definitely is me? I seriously do not know. But seeing Tower just now somehow surprised me. I can breathe properly, my knees did not get weak and my emotion is well composed. Yeah, I am not crazy over Tower anymore. But I think I have a more developed feeling towards Tower. It is a composed admiration. I can look at Tower in the eye and just smile and not shy away like I used to. I can look at the face and be happy without going gaga and do all sort of weird facial expression and all. I can just compose myself. It is like… SEEING SOMEONE I LOVE!

Gosh, like seriously! Am I in love with Tower? I have read before that crush only stays for a while, to a maximum of 4 months, if it exceeds, then it is love actually. Wait, I have liked Tower since more than a year. OMG, I DO NOT WANT TO ADMIT IT BUT YEAH, I THINK I AM IN LOVE! Haha . Damn, because I know this is so going to be unrequited because Tower already has someone that is cherished. Who cares, I am just going to love you although you do not know. I think I can live with that. Until I found someone new.

*giggly*