stop seeking..

recently, i read a quote by somebody, i can remember but i am pretty sure he or she is an author and the person said that in order to be at peace, one should stop looking for themselves. instead, they should just be themselves. well, for me, this makes a lot of sense actually. i, for instance, is a victim of years of self searching and up to level, i lost myself totally at one time. the journey, let me tell you, is just lain weird and full of uncertainties and questions that have no answer or beyond me. it also made me thinks, why do you need to travel or go through a journey just to find yourself? you have always been there. you should be understood, not defined. people's words play a role in this. people will keep on saying to you about becoming part of the society. part of the ideals. i have gone that route. believe me, it's confusing. you dont understand things but you do it because it's normal. or the norms. before this, i used to believe that i ahve not find myself. i need to seek it through. what i was looking for was not myself, it was actually societal norms. damn, i feel programmed. i feel like others have been running my life. i feel like i have wasted a lot of time..

now, i think i dwelled in finding myself too much. i am on my way back. i am abandoning the search for the norms. so what if i cannot be like the most? at least i am still a human and my humanity is restored. i'll be who i am, not who i am supposed to be according to people. i am my own word, not others. i am a chocolate. not vanilla. i will stand up, not blend..

*on the way back*