bitterness overload..

as bitter as coffee without any sugar and creamer. just plain black coffee with coal of butter or margarine coating the outer layer of the seed. seriously, a lot of things in my life dissatisfy me at the moment. the fact that i am doing the things that i dislike is one thing. then, i have this something that holds the future of me in its hand and i am at no capacity to fulfill it at the moment. i am still waiting for that inner me to wake up and gives me the slap of the year to get me moving. to be honest, these two things is making me feel unhealthy.

then, concerning the heart. eff for worrying too much. eff for saying that i may not be able to focus on the person. eff to the caring mind. i forgot that i might need support as well. i am not the one giving support all the time, i might receive it as well. stupid me for rejecting that love and now the person is the one that got away. well, you have spared yourself a miserable piece of bitterness from being a part of your life. be happy with that. as for me, i'll continue being like this. alone and no one to talk too.

i am seeing fake anywhere. yes, i know fake for i am fake myself at times. but seriously, you guys do realise i realise the whole situation? it is only that i choose to just play along. seriously, i reside on fake for i am not sure do i have any real in my life. yes, i am that sad and pathetic.

okie, back to reality.

*depressed*