a nutcase who doesn't know how to prioritise..

the title refers to none other but yours truly. seriously, i am having a problem in prioritising what is necessary and important in my life at the moment. i am living the moment as if i am on a break or vacation while the actual fact is, i am supposed to bust my hind off to finish something that has been put on hold by me. yes, everything that has happened in my life is all because of my own doing and i am in no place to accuse others. i am rather baffled by my lack of scare in not finishing what am i supposed to do in time. what is wrong with me? what has happened to that overly competitive side of me? what? you met failure once and now you find it hard to stand up again? guess my willpower is a sissy. and whose fault is that? me! myself!arghh, i don't get myself and i hate when this happens because i am the person who understand me the most but i cannot do anything. erghh, i'm so mad at myself, i want to jump into the sea and be eaten by fishes to release the hate. F is wrong with me? i am so disappointed with my own self..