learning to crawl.. in love..

i have been single for a good 4 years now. like that is seriously a long time to be spending my time alone. but then, come to think again, most of my relationships were long distance. so, i could say i was a very independent partner even when i was in relationships. the thing is, i do realise that i am getting older and the urge to settle down is increasing, you know, to find someone who is willing to spend their life with you and go through all the experiences in your life together. however, i have been unable to open my heart to new relationship for reason i cannot even explain. i just find it hard to be with someone. all this time being single has made me a great appreciator of quiet and loneliness, haha which is an extravagant way to say that i am now a loner than a social person.

the thing is, i do have someone that i fancy. someone i know i get along so well, someone i can truly see myself loving, have arguments and finally be friends through the rest of my life. one reason i am holding back is because of my economic state at the moment which i don't think i love to elaborate more since it's kinda apparent from the few latest posts. haha, i want this one to be the last one, the one decision that i will make and i won't regret and so does the person. the thing is, this needs to be serious. no more games for gaming time has passed for me. haha i sound dead old here.. lol

the thing is, love is something i have left for years now. to love again will be a whole new experience. I'm like a baby earning how to crawl, which in this case, in love. ahh, to love is to experience, but as experienced as i am, i feel so noob at the moment. so, yeah, i shall keep myself away from all those generic articles about how to love and really go deep within myself asking myself, what were my mistakes and learn from them. yes, in love, there are no better teachers than the both of you. others can give opinions but only you will know what is right.