words..

words don’t come easy for me. i am not that good with word. my vocabulary is not that big either. so, when it comes to writing down stories, i always dread it. it is because i know, i will keep on playing the visual in my head while being unable to pen the words down to describe it. writing is just not something that comes naturally to me. haha it is kinda ironic that i am writing this down to explain about my inability to write stories.

the thing is, i have had ideas. a lot to be exact. but, once i started writing them down, my words didn’t catch the essence of what i am trying to tell. hence ideas remain ideas. no development. i took up the interest of reading at a rather early age. library was my fortress of solitude throughout primary and secondary school years. i spent a lot of time with books and after some time, aspired to be an author. however, i can never write narratives or stories in a way that it is a sensory adventure. my writing has always been straightforward, no nonsense and at times, even academic in nature. my writing is exactly a representation of how my mind works. uptight and determined. i tried letting loose but it all comes back to that so after some time, i just accepted that writing is not the way that i should go.

to be honest, it is rather envious to see others being able to express their minds out with great stories. not just establish authors, but also people i have had the privilege to know in life as well. words seem to come easy for them. but then again, if everyone has the same ability, what is the meaning of diversity then? so, i believe in fate i which everyone has a mission on this land and each mission is individual. no two is the same.

in the mean time, i shall keep the visual alive, in my head and hope to find someone that can write them down in words for the world to understand it as well.

(written on 17/1/2015)