this is definitely my current situation at the work place. yeah, it has only been two working days but i have started feeling awkward about the whole thing. the thing is, the job doesn't allow me to be myself. i have to put on an act to fit within the group. they're are just polar opposite of what i am. it's not that they're not nice people, they are, but it's me. i am too weird to function normally in structured organisation. but i am willing to give this more time as i believe that time can be a good remedy to many awkward situations, this is just one of them.
anyway, a more fitting job for me is actually within the same office area but totally beyond reach. it's totally like living in a glass dome, where you can see the things you know you will do just fine, but you cannot reach it because that's not for you according to the order of nature. it sucks to be honest to see a place you know you will feel at home and a place you belong but it's not going to happen. but i won't be staying there for long because that's not my base office so the torment won't be for long.. i hope. in the mean time, i am learning to love my job. it will take some time.. please, all i need is 5 years.. then i'll take on a different journey..