Friday, January 29, 2010

Im writing about.. high prestige schools..

Seriously, when I saw the headline on some newspaper saying some schools were selected as high prestige school, I was anxious to find out whether my school is selected as one of it or not.. as we always claim ourselves to be an elite school.. and what a shocker.. my school is not included.. and my neighbouring school is.. however, the shocked later dissolved as I recall the current state of my school.. it is not as great as before.. the percentage has been falling year by year.. and we always barely make it to the top ten list for big examination results ( in my years, we were no 9 if im not mistaken).. so, it was not a surprised anymore after recalling those scary facts..

Looking at the advantages given to these schools.. It is quite interesting especially the medium language to be used in those schools.. they can choose their own language.. wow, but I bet it will be either Malay, English or maybe Arab in some school.. nobody would venture a language so alien to them such as maybe French or Japanese since the user are not that many in our local society.. one more issue that quite scares me is the power of regulating teachers is now belong to the school.. so, I guess, no more slacking teachers will be kept around if the performance is not up to par.. this is somehow good and bad at the same time.. good because at least this gives the teacher a reminder to work hard or you’re out.. bad because this might give shame to the teacher and also it could be emotionally influenced..

One interesting addition to these school is early graduation if you are qualified.. however it is only by a year.. but still, you might be schooling in lesser years compared to your other friends.. haha.. for teenagers, what is important is the capability to show off.. but to some dismay, the school might lengthen the period of study.. but to think again, nowadays students are always found to be at school, staying back for many purposes.. let it be co curriculum or extra classes.. so, I could say that this is no big deal.. then, there is also addition to the budget to be used by the school each year.. but seriously, I don’t see how this benefits the school because sometimes the money is there but no activities were being done..

As a conclusion, I hope the latest government plan to develop our education system is well organized and get support from many in order to achieve the long aspirated goal of developed country by 2020 and able to mould our own great individuals..

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Im writing on.. Hannibal Rising (the book)..

So, remember the post on unicorns and rainbows?? Where I did not go and find the necessary books, instead looked for story books.. or should I say novels ( this sounds more matured than story books).. yup, the book that I got my hand into is Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris (one of my favorite authors).. after watching the movie several years back, I was enthralled to find the book because usually the book will be better than the movie.. it is not to my saying but it is a fact.. so, when I saw this book, I quickly grabbed it and look forward to read it..

What can I say about the book?? It is a nice book with the usual detailing that Thomas Harris always has in his other books.. it tells the story very vividly and you could imagine every single event that happened in it with high precision (if you’re gifted with high imagination that is).. and this book also tells about the history of Hannibal and how he developed into the Hannibal Lecter that we know today.. reading this book sort of gives you a bit of twisted thoughts in mind as the personality and behaviour of Hannibal is so contradictory to each other.. however, comparing this book to Harris’s other works, this book lacks of the suspense and gut wrenching details that is usually present in his books.. besides, the story also was rather straight forward.. meaning, less thinking about what will happen next.. I don’t know whether it was intentional to make the book like that to show the developing Lecter or just a lack of support in the storyline and plot..

As a conclusion.. it was a good read.. for those who are hungry for twisted and mind blowing murder stories, this book should be on your list.. if not, just try to read it.. who knows, we might be Hannibal ourselves without realizing it.. haha

*twistedly happy*

im embarrassed..

OMG, what has gotten into me this lately.. that person whom i wrote in the previous post is making a big mess in my mind.. i even mistake my friend for him.. haha.. im ashamed okie..
that day i went shopping with a friend of mine.. and we went to find the best bargain on branded items.. and yes, i got myself a Michael Kors jeans (not available in Malaysia, but only in Reject Shop or FOS).. haha.. proud of it.. after getting my stuff, we when to shop for his.. and we came across this very familiar looking white with grey stripe shirt.. and my friend tells me about his liking towards the shirt and wanted to buy it.. and then i spurted this few words..
"bukan you dah ada byk ke baju tu?"
we came to a silence.. only then did he speak..
"it's *** who has a lot of this, not me*
at that moment, i felt like killing myself for mistaking my friend over my so called ex.. gosh, how could that happened in the first place.. damn.. im embarrassed.. and as usual, being my friend.. he teased me on that.. haha.. fine.. i will never do it again okie.. haish..

another even just happened this morning.. i saw a friend of mine who was wearing his pants so low until you could see his boxer.. always not liking the view of a boxer, i pull his shirt down to cover it.. and then he said..
"kalau dengan *** dlu pn u slalu tarik bju dia kn.. nk cover boxer"
OMG, what is wrong with me.. i hate this.. AARGGHH....

*i hate you*

Friday, January 22, 2010

Gosh, stop thinking about it okie..

Seriously, although it has been almost a year.. but I still cant forget about that person.. about what he had done in my life.. making me feel horrible most of the time.. keep me questioning a lot about myself and what will happen.. not answering my questions.. make me fight with my besties.. cause me to look like a fool.. and a lot more about what he had made my life into.. a big mess.. seriously.. I don’t know why but I just cant stop thinking about him.. damn you..

Sometimes I wonder by myself, why did I ever fall for you before?.. the only nice thing about you was your look.. and it stops there.. your behavior was rather obnoxious.. you seriously don’t have a way with words.. and when you’re mad, you’re the scariest thing on earth.. and yet, I still fall for you.. even my friends asked me back then and somehow up till now, what made me fall for you?.. I have no answer for it until now.. maybe till eternity..

So, I might fall for you when you’re sick.. because that is just me.. if I could love and like someone if that person is sick.. that means I really love the person.. and this happened to you.. but you were my friend from before.. so, I dare not go so far.. yet, I braved myself to face you and pour my heart out.. and even show my affection towards you.. and what did you give in return?? And unexplainable gesture of a feeling that I could not decipher.. and when I asked you about us.. you just shut your mouth and say nothing.. and that helps to create nothing but more and more hatred on you..

Now, I cant even bare the slightest memory of you.. even a picture or memory.. because it gonna drive me mad.. of anger.. and resentment.. sometimes I wished you were never a part of my life before.. I hope all those memory could be erased completely from my mind.. and I could live happily.. yeah, you may say it is my fault for not moving on.. but I have moved on.. only the hatred remained.. hope someday I will find a way to forgive you and get you out of my head..

*hate it to the limit*

Thursday, January 21, 2010

unicorns.. and rainbows

these two words have been so prominent in my life lately.. for god sake knows why.. it started when my lecturer asked the whole class to go to the library to do some research on a given topic.. and my group and i.. instead of looking for the necessary,went to look for story books.. this is where all the unicorn and rainbows starts..

browsing through the not so abundant amount of story books in the library.. i noticed there were many books on unicorns and magic of the rainbow.. i was wondering, what is all these books doing here since it is only suitable for kids below 10 years old.. or should i say six??.. i just have no idea what are they doing there.. and it puzzled me for one whole day.. yes, i took the trouble to trouble myself with something so trivial yet i have a lot of important stuff to worry on.. that is so typical me.. prioritising the wrong thing.. haha..

then, i try to read some of the book.. and guess what.. it was kind of fun.. life seems so lack of danger and you could always rely on the magic of the rainbows to save the day.. haha.. man, people's imagination.. about a horse with a spiral horn.. and their magic.. weird..


Sunday, January 17, 2010

im writing about.. matters of the hearts.. and Pride and Prejudice

so, i have promised myself to stop thinking about love and whatsoever.. but still, it still haunts me.. go away okie.. i dontthink i need it now.. and this pain has been torturing me.. of remembering the person that i loved so much.. OMG, im not breaking my promises by lashing out my love stories here okie.. so, i wont write anything on what happened to me..

so, last night.. due to the liberty that i have ( actually it was boredom).. i made a decsion to watch Pride and Prejudice.. starred by keira knightley and a guy (i cant remember his name).. it has been a while since i watch a very nice movie and i must say.. the 2 hours spent watching the movie worth every minute.. the storyline was nice.. and i could connect myself to the main character.. both Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy.. they somehow portrayed me.. and they gave answers to me of why i see life in that manner.. so, i shall take some lesson from the movie.. who would have thought the person that you hate the most is actually the person taht you love.. who would have thought that the guy that everybody thinks of as a snob and proud man to be this loveable and willing to asacrifice whatever he has for the woman he loved.. seriously, this movie is a beauty.. and worth watching.. although it took me 5 years to watch it.. well, better late than never right..

anyway, it makes me think that sometimes people is not what we see them as.. they could be very differnt from what we have in our mind.. and the love among teh family members is so inspiring.. how protective is the father to not let the daughter live in suffering although it could mean they could have lost their house.. how someone superior thinks that she could control the life o others and finally being shn by someone of lower rank due to insolent behaviour.. this movie teach us a lot about life and how to go with it.. and one think that seriously close to me is the act of knowing evrything but keeping everything at heart as it could hurt others.. i always do that.. and i understand the pain..

*love and perception, they dont go together, do they?*

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Im going to talk about.. Malaysian schools’ new literature texts.. part 2

This is a continuation to my previous post on Malaysian schools’ new literature texts.. if that day I have talked about literature components such as poems and short stories with the newly added drama.. today, im going to touch on the novels.. or should I call it graphic novels.. as stated in the syllabus..

When my lecturer came into the class holding a stack of books, I was wondering what was it.. later she explained that the books are the graphic novel that is going to be used in teaching students later.. and also our new textbooks.. from outside, it looks just the same as my old novel.. but wait until you opened them.. it was effing surprising.. it has so little writing and full of pictures.. in colours.. and you have several activities inside it.. let it be it concerns the story or English language.. what I mean is among the things that I remembered was there is a section on grammar and there is also a section about the story content.. and it cost way higher than what I used to pay because of the colour.. oh man, I was surprised.. flipping through the book, entitled “ The Boscombe Valley Mysteries” by sir Arthur Conan Doyle, I realized that what they were trying to do is to incorporate comics into study.. this is to grab students attention and finally make them finish the book.. I remember how student dreaded to finish the novels because it was so dull and boring.. this might be good improvement that they have done to the novels..

However, im not satisfied with the content of the book.. it is rather to childish for someone in secondary school to learn.. maybe it is because novels, this time will only be learned by form 1 students only.. but, I think I should be something heavier and could be discussed more on.. for example Moby Dick. Although it is a child story but the message is sp deep and could be discussed more.. but that is just my opinion.. I just feel like it has now turned not to say easier, but more direct than it used to be..

*thinking of how im going to love literature*

First love.. why it is so hard to forget..

We always hear people say that first love is the hardest to let go.. I agree to that statement.. but have we ever think why it is so hard to let go of it?? This post is based on my views only.. not influenced by outside sources and have no references.. the only reference is my heart and my consensus..

For me, first love is hard to forget because it is about starting of the new phase in your life.. before it arrived, you have never opened your heart. You treated everyone the same. But when this one person got close to you, you feel the tingle in your heart and you wanted to share your world and your happiness with the person. Better still, when the person feels the same thing. It is like the best thing in the world. And it started the new phase in your life. Living ( or existing) as partners. You start learning about caring for the heart; have your first argument and heartache, and many to follow. You also learn about giving commitment. And most importantly is first love is the thing that holds the key to your heart, opened it and give chances for the next loves to enter your heart and stay there. although it would be long gone when you found someone else if you ever broke up or go own ways with your first love, the person remains as he or she holds the key to your heart. You never owned it. It will always belong to them. Until you meet someone who have the key to finally locked himself or herself in your heart and stays there forever.

That is why first love is so hard to forget. They hold a part of you with them and that little part of you will always reminds you of them..

*what if you have two first love??*

Monday, January 11, 2010

Im going to say about.. Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Hmm, when I first look at the movie’s poster.. and its line of actors.. I say to myself.. this movie must be nice.. besides, it is also Heath Ledger’s last movie before he bids farewell to the world too soon, the movie was not even completed yet.. thanks to the great casts and crew they manage to fill up the loophole left by Heath.. anyway, love you man.. no one portrayed Joker better than you did.. okie, back to the story, it started with a show/performance that is common in the 19th century or early twentieth century.. however, by looking deeper, I realized that the setting is actually modern era.. okie.. that was a bit of confusion.. and many to follow..

Then, the movie proceeds and I get more confused by it due to it random nature.. in this movie, randomness is the essence since it is all about imagination.. for all I know the main storyline is Dr. Parnassus is a thousand year old man who was granted immortality by the Devil by the name of Mr Nick. He is trying to do all he can so that he does not have to give his daughter, Valentina, due to an agreement that he made to the devil that every child thet he ever fathered will be given when they are 16.. and the story just got more confusing by addition of character like Tony Shepherd who seems like a nice guy but actually is not.. and it get more and more twisted until I have no idea what it is all about.. man, my imagination is not that high I think..

One thing that I realized about the movie is the message it is trying to give.. it got a bit of Satanism and freemasonry in it.. they were portrayed by certain symbol.. which if you have done research and study in this fields, then you should know.. one ironic line that was said by the devil in the movie was “ can you explain to me about all those satanic symbol and freemason thing, I don’t understand them”.. and there are several actions and lines in the movie that tells you what is it about with the devil.. for example there is a line when Tony said to dr. Parnassus that the devil can’t give him Valentina back because the devil actually don’t have Valentina as well.. then, there is the final scene where the devil gives an apple to nuns.. this may be interpreted in many interpretation but from my point of view, it is actually saying that the people in the religious institution actually don’t even know who they are facing eventhough the enemy is right in front of them.. seriously, this movie is heavy despite its childish look..

So, my advice to you, if you want to watch for fun, this is not the movie.. because you might ended up with a great headache or feeling regret for the money you have spent..

*still figuring out*

Im going to talk about.. Malaysian schools’ new literature texts..

As an English language students and also an education student, on last Friday, I got my hand on the new literature texts that is currently being used in schools all over Malaysia.. OMG, how was I surprised to receive them.. it is as if it is going to be used by elementary school children.. please be noted that literature is taught in the secondary level.. it is just somehow unacceptable..

One of the most annoying features in my view is the font used in the texts.. it is huge.. it is like their mocking the eyesight of nowadays students.. whom maybe spend too much time in front of computers or video games.. for goodness sake.. it does not look like something that is going to be used by a teenager at all.. and I thought the literature component in my time was bad.. the literary texts in my time was said to be too matured for teenagers and somehow could not catch the attention for they are too abstract and touch a lot on life.. but from my first glance of the new texts.. it is as if they do not want the students to think too much and just accept the spoon-fed idea into their mind and just swallow it all.. without even bother to think about them.. and how is that going to develop the creativity and critical thinking skills in their mind??

Whatever it is.. that is the reality of the literature in Malaysian school right now.. from making up own poem (Life’s Brief Candle is NOT A POEM!!, it is part of Macbeth) to end up something so straight forward and rather childish.. although some did have put a very scary theme in them.. such as the finding of the new god, that is money.. one thing to be reminded of, in order to have a strong literature background in Malaysia, they should start teaching it in elementary level, but not formally, just a brief introduction to it.. so the students could develop the love for literature earlier and who knows, we might have our own great poet later.. ( how ironic, these come from someone who hates literature)..

*gulp and gasp*

Thursday, January 7, 2010

first week.. how surprising..

as im writing this, i hardly passed the first week of my new semester.. and what i can say about this semester is it is surprising.. i never thought the subjects will be such a drag.. they are just so thoretical and not really that practical and fun to learn.. and the reason stated by the syllabus is to make the students to become confident with their knowledge and be a good teacher.. what?? looking at it make me more insecure about my level of knowledge.. then, i also need to do something that is beyond myself.. yes, i need to do community service.. what?? i never did one, how am i supposed to do it, and worse still, being graded for it.. huhu.. OMG, im dead okie.. and i hardly passed the first week..

then, about life.. wow, i got real friends.. wow, they care about me.. haha.. and they care to open up to me.. and i also heard problem about some of my friends.. but i just hope that they will resolve their problems later.. anyway, im quite happy but seriously, im bored.. haha


Monday, January 4, 2010

Im back.. and changes will be made..

Huhu people.. im back in Shah Alam at last.. that can only mean one thing.. yes, the new semester has begun.. so, need to prepare to succeed more this semester.. one thing that I will surely do is to put more effort in my study.. well, although last semester my result was not that bad, but im totally not satisfied with it.. I barely made it only.. all my result was on fences.. one marks less and I will fall into the next grade.. so, need to put more effort this sem..

Another thing that I will do this semester is concerning this blog.. I will write less about love and more on issues or things that has happened in my life that should be shared with others.. although the topic of love might be discussed sometimes, but it will only be the subtopic.. not the main idea of the whole post.. because I just realized that by writing about love a lot of time.. your readers could get bored very easily.. although there are some who seek for such stories.. well, I just can say that im not into love writing anymore.. for now.. but we can never predict the future as time changes people..

About pictures.. im no good a photographer so there will be no changes in that department.. my blog will always be this dark and minimal as im a straight minded person.. I see the world in black and white.. and sometime in rainbows.. never in shades of grey.. haha..

Huhu.. anyway, for this new year, let us all be happy and live our life to the fullest..

*changing.. for better??*

Saturday, January 2, 2010

2010.. may it brings new hope and success.. and clarity..

finally, 2009 is over.. now, we have entered 2010.. a new year.. a beginning of a new decade.. let us talk about what has happened in 2009 since it has changed me a lot.. im no longer the person whom i used to be.. i have made a lot of changes in myself.. without realising any.. it has thought me love and pain.. friendship and betrayal.. success and failure.. and most of all.. the point of my existence.. that is to serve my role as a human.. bye bye 2009.. the journey and experience in you has helped me a lot.. or not.. im uncertain about it..

for this new year, i wanted more than anything else is more success and happiness to come in my way.. and i want to find something that can finally bring peace in me.. to soothe the fire in my heart and finally let me live in peace.. anyway, let just wait and see what this year has store for me.. Hello 2010..