Thursday, April 28, 2011

Totally disconnected..

Gosh, it is bad enough that I have to live with Internet all the time, now guess what? My phone’s charger just broke down although I just used it thrice or twice and that totally cuts me from contacting anyone. Gosh, first I lost FB and Twitter and now phone line? What is the world plotting against me? To totally cuts me from existence or what? Just like what happen to people in Shakugan no Shana when they got taken away their existence everyone forgets about them. Is that what are you plotting to do to me huh, World?


Be Considerate, Please?

I am writing this due to what just happened to me a few hours back. Okie, I am having my exams today (April 27, 2011) and I find it hard to sleep last night because someone has been snoring loudly. When I say loud, I mean real loud. Like the whole house could hear it. Omg, how am I going to sleep with such a sound? Okie, I have been sleeping with people snoring near me for the longest time since some of my family members snores, but not that loud. I know you cannot do anything to decrease the volume so I am not really mad. I finally sleep after hours of agonizing pain in my ear and I am too tired to stay awake. Then, after I finally got my sleep, suddenly I was rudely awakened by noise. Yes, someone listened to music loudly at let me see, 7 in the morning! Gosh, seriously! I am just about to have my sleep since I cannot sleep the night before and now this disturbance early in the morning. You know how I was in the verge of screaming to that person to just be quiet! Haish, I know you woke up early and all but please think of those who are still sleeping. Not enough that you torture those people with your snoring, now loud music? Homagad, I feel like killing someone.

People who had known me will know how much I appreciate quietness. I do not listen to music on speakers but headphones instead, I don’t put the volume to the max, just enough to listen. I am a peaceful person who treasures quietness to the max. So please, be considerate. I do not want to go screaming just to have some quietness. That is so unlike me. I know you might think it is that person’s right to how he or she wants to listen to sounds and all, but please remember, there are other people with different interest in the same place, please look around and open your mind okie? Thanks.

*I need some sleep*

I have moved..

Okie, it is not that I am closing this blog. What I mean is what happened to me in my real life. I have moved away from my previous rental house due to the event that has been mentioned before in this blog. No need for elaboration I think. So yeah, I am just informing about my move.

My new house is not that far from my old house but the situation is way different. I am no longer living in the middle of sky and land, but I am on ground this time. There is grassland right in front of my house. Okie, I love the smell of nature when I wake up. Oh, outside my room is an empty slot of land and there are trees there and seriously these make my room cool. Can you imagine waking up feeling like catching a cold although you sleep with no fan on? Yup, that is how cold is my room. Hehe. For now I am still living alone in my room, as my other tenant is not here yet. But I am thinking of getting the room all for myself, but that is still in consideration.

One thing that I miss about my old house is the view. Yes, I have the stalker view because my house was so high and I can see a lot of things that is happening in nearby places. Huhu maybe it is time I start new hobby. Another is the quiet I feel when I am all-alone. Here, everything that happened outside can be heard clearly. Huhu, at times it is scary. Haha. Seriously, I have been terrified by the sound that I have heard here but I am pretty sure those are human made. I hope!

So, that is all about my new house. Oh, one thing that I need to mention is that I do not have any internet connection at my new house. So, expect the absence of me from this blog, twitter, facebook and many more websites that I am usually found. Huhu.
Seriously, I am still adapting to living without Internet. If you are close to me, then you should lnow how attached am I to the net. Haha. So, I shall be in the real world more than in the digital world. That is something that I need to learn.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Seriously, am I still feeling it?

The breakup has been 5 months. To be honest, I am still affected by it. Some say seriously, you still feel the remorsefulness? Yes, I am very much still affected by it. Hey, it was not a short relationship okie. It was 3 years. Yeah, we had our on and off sessions. Found someone else in between but we were never separated. Now, the separation is for real and I cannot accept it. Yeah, call me weak; I just could not care because that is the truth. I am weak now. And life is no comfort since the only thing it is giving to me is more and more trials. Thanks life, I really need it. Blergh.

Then, today I saw Tower. Yes, someone that I used to fancy so much, I lost my love because of the whole crush. Yes, that person. To be frank, my feeling for Tower has lessen tremendously since the breakup, maybe because I somehow blame Tower for the incident when the fault is definitely is me? I seriously do not know. But seeing Tower just now somehow surprised me. I can breathe properly, my knees did not get weak and my emotion is well composed. Yeah, I am not crazy over Tower anymore. But I think I have a more developed feeling towards Tower. It is a composed admiration. I can look at Tower in the eye and just smile and not shy away like I used to. I can look at the face and be happy without going gaga and do all sort of weird facial expression and all. I can just compose myself. It is like… SEEING SOMEONE I LOVE!

Gosh, like seriously! Am I in love with Tower? I have read before that crush only stays for a while, to a maximum of 4 months, if it exceeds, then it is love actually. Wait, I have liked Tower since more than a year. OMG, I DO NOT WANT TO ADMIT IT BUT YEAH, I THINK I AM IN LOVE! Haha . Damn, because I know this is so going to be unrequited because Tower already has someone that is cherished. Who cares, I am just going to love you although you do not know. I think I can live with that. Until I found someone new.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

life at this moment..

hectic. that is the correct word to describe my life at this moment. there are just so many things to do and get ready for. seriously, at times, i feel like i just want to lie down anywhere, let it be on the floor or on the carpet, just to lose my eyes and take a breather. but sorry sir, no can do. life must go on and no matter how tiring and hectic it is, you will just have to face it. huhu, the sad reality. is it me or reality is always sad, not like fantasy.

even now, i still have several things to be finished. like writings stuff and read for tests. haish, no wonder my seniors said that my current part is the beginning of hell. wait, if this is the beginning, how about later? are we will be dwelling in hell? man, that does not sound interesting at all. but nevermind, keep that in the future, now i will just focus on things in the near future like tomorrow and the week after. that is more crucial that dreading over something that is yet to be confirmed. huhu.

stress has been uplifted i think. well, for others they may say that this workloads gives them a lot of stress. well, i do not work like any other. i love workloads. it makes me forget my personal life, which is the main reason behind all my stress. so, mounting works on me is actually a bliss. i never fret having a lot of work. i love them. haha, call me freaky, this is just me.

now, i shall do some more work. work that has been on hold for quite some time. then, i will read some notes for tests. okie, till later. tata

*student mode is on*

Friday, April 1, 2011

I shall not be someone’s rebound..

Okie, you just had your breakup from a 2 years long relationship 2 days ago. You say to everyone that your heart is broken. You say that it will need time to heal the heartache. You say that the memories remain in your mind although you have tried your best to get over it. And I accept it all totally. With no sense of doubt. At all.

But today you came around to me asking to get to know me. Doing the things people always do to have someone hands and heart in their possession. Asking me to fill in the void left by the one before. To be honest, I am not that stupid okie. I know what this it. This is rebound. You just need someone to get over the other one. And of all people, you chose me? Like why? We only talked once and we only met in a brief moment and we did not even say hi. And now, you expect me to be a rebound? No way! I am too worthy to be someone’s rebound. I should be loved, not compared. Bear that in your mind.

Whatever it is, no matter how much I adore you, seriously, I am more to a fan than a friend; since I love your work, not you. I will never agree to be your rebound. I will be too stupid to do so. Sorry, come back when you are ready to love me, not to just let me fill the void.