hahahahaha....

something just give me a reason to laugh out loud today... someone.. to be exact.. who would have thought person who says that blog is a way of escapism is actually dont really understand the rules in blogging.. like what that person says.. blog is a way of escapism.. we are free to express our ideas and point of view or how we view life in our own words.. others have no rights to say what is right or wrong in blog world because it is opinion-based.. no one is right or wrong.. besides, there are difference between saying your thoughts and insult or offend others.. hehe.. some just could not understand it.. a way of escapism... now that is a matter to laugh about.. saying something else while doing something else in the end... hey, this sentence sounds familiar... whatever...

oh, today, i found my ex friend.. still, our relationship coud not be repaired... let just let it be... im sick of problem nowadays...

*sick*

blessing or curse?

one big question that plays in my mind for the whole day for the past few days is ' smartness: blessing or curse? ' i think it is a bit of both.. it can help u sometimes when no one could but can be a disturbance when others start referring to u for every single thing.. for people who dont really have it, they pray to have it.. but to those who have it, they sometimes pray they are not that gifted or smart.. ahhh, human.. will we ever learn to be grateful..
another question that has the same significant is concerning physical attraction.. is it really is a blessing to have it when u realised that it only brings heartbreaks to u or people around u.. beauty brings envy, hatred and even fights among people around u.. yet, people still chase for beauty.. some people said, mostly beautiful people are evil people.. there might be some truth to it.. if they are not evil, they might brings evil omen around with them.. bad things are bound to happen near beatiful people.. it is just the way of life..

will we be affected by it???
i wonder....

no way...

updates on my life recently.. about the crush.. let just put it aside.. there is no way i could do anything with it because my family don't really agree with me.. huh, maybe something better may come by soon.. let just hope and pray..
anything else that happen in my life recently.. nothing much.. just normal.. just got home a few days ago.. long holiday ( not really, just 1 week).. working hard to finish up all my work.. love getting more rest than ever.. family gathering just a few days ago due to my uncle's engagement.. catch up with new stories.. and normal stuff.. like i have said.. life is normal for me nowadays..
hate it.. love to be more adventurous..

sob2..

just when i thought...

just when i thought that everything is clear for this friend of mine, i just saw something else.. something that is not supposed to be.. let me just call it total idiocy.. he still hang out with the same person who played with his emotion, using him for work and treat him with a certain uncertainty.. hmm, i wonder when will he ever come to his senses.. let's just pray.. hope he did got struck by lightning before realising what has happened in his life..

about love.. i just realised that im fascinated by someone very recently.. let just say, no progress has been done to improve the relationship.. i have no idea while i fall for this person.. this person is the total opposite of who i am.. the person is cool and very calm.. while im clumsy and somehow disorganised..

will anything happen soon?..
let's just pray...

lalalalala.....

Inner Expresssion..

huh, at last, one of my friend has come to his senses.. that that person is not fond of hm, instead just using him.. something that i've been trying to tell him again and again for the last few months.. he said he was blinded by love...
Yeah rite.. and yesterday we talked about it.. he told me that i was cruel because i am honest.. what the... sometimes honesty is the best, unbeatable policy.. hah, sometimes i wonder what took him so long to realise the actual situation..

another story.. have you ever confronted someone with problem of love, hate, unsure of their own feeling towards someone else?.. believe me, you will never want to be close or even know someone with this sort of problem.. it irritates you to the limit.. once you get involve, there will be no escape for you.. i know it because im also sometimes have this problem.. it is just plain irritating..

talk about something else.. what will you feel when you saw someone who looks exactly like your previous someone?.. will this irritates you?.. because you know that person is not the person you have once fall for but the looks is just the same.. you keep wanting to look at the person while knowing no response will be given.. it is like love it but hate it kind of feeling.. hah, love life.. it sometimes brings happiness but it also brings the worst misery of all the things in this world.. love it but hate it.. don't want to be in this situation but involved by fate..

another thing.. have you ever stumbled with people who can't accept who they really are?.. the people who are in deep denial.. but yet their behaviour show who they really are inside.. this kind of people are just sucks.. be true to yourself.. stop denying.. people know who you really are and believe me, people will talk behind your back.. unless you think back talking makes you famous, you may continue.. " keep talking shit, your making me famous.".. we know who you are.. if, not, let the inner self come out and just be yourself.. people will accept u.. just in case some can't.. let them be.. anybody with this attitude, leave it.. i hate people in denial state..

some people are just to nice.. up to the extend, sympathising people who should never get any sympathy from anyone... it is just lame... you should stand for your own rights.. care less about others.. more about yourself.. you worth more than those Turks.. you can be nice, but there will always be a limit.. if you pass beyond the limit, you are just plain stupid.. somehow being evil sounds better.. care less about what people said.. in time, people get used to you..

emo behaviour.. some just cant get their hands off it.. while others are having fun.. he is down.. when others laugh.. he gave the anguish look.. when others want to live long.. he keep on saying " kill me".. hah.. they are just plain weird.. i would say cheer up man.. life is not about crying.. it's about all emotions.. not sadness and morbidity only..

that does it for now..

huh...

do you know your real self?

ever wonder whether you really know who you are deep inside your heart? sometimes, we as human tends to assume that we know what is happening all around us. but in the end, just to figure out that we know nothing. we can't accept the fact that we are somehow not all knowing.

sometimes, we take ourselves for granted. we never want to explore what hidden talents or abilities that we could have. it will always be excuses then executions. in the end, we are the one at loss. who else to blame? no one but ourselves.

haish...

*sigh*

who would have thought that life can somehow be very tiring and stressful. especially at a very young age. with all the problems pouring down on the same time without enough time for us, people to think about it.

sometimes you get stuck on the problems that you have created, while sometimes you are not even connected to it but looks as if you are the one in fault. all this thing just tiring me up and somehow i hope it will end someday.

i always dream of living a life that is so easy, without any problem and i will just get everything settled and done. but some how the reality is not like that. it willl never be a bed of roses. it is still full of roses, but also full of hurtful thorns and lustful scent that will control our mind to do things that we should never do..

friendship and love..
this two words are the best and the worst words in existence. it can bring you laughter and joy, but not forgetting tears and despair. sometimes when people wanted more than just friendship, it could end up with no relationship at all. friends become enemies, while others take sides. some will believe in the truth and some will believe what they want to believe. relationship and friendship that has been built for years can easily brought down but one simple matter...
love..

*sigh*

updates on myself...

hah..
finally i got a chance to write in my blog after a few days of extreme busyness n absence. what's new about me? hehe, i bought a new phone.. must i write the details? it's unnecessary i think..

yeah, life just teach me several things..

u can never be sure on what will be happening next as we can never predict the future. such as how someone can just go away from your life at the most unexpected time. one minute they are here, next they are none to be found..

ur writing will show who u r inside.. though this may sounds scary but that's the truth.. people can always judge u from ur writing..

newly found confidence can brings up newly found relationship.. hehe, i know this may sounds corny and rather horny but then, it's true.. but rite now, let me just stay single so prevent future heartbreaks..

hah..
life, it is just full of mysteries..

i miss being loved..

ahhh..
how i miss being loved by someone. it is the time when you know, even if you are alone, there will always be someone who remembers you. someone that just fill in the emptyness in your hearts. that completes your life. that will make sure there will always be a smile on your face. someone that will share your sadness. someone who will care for u with all their hearts. someone who can't bear to see ur tears..

how i miss those feelings. i wish it never stops. but then, sometimes good things comes to an end. just wish things could forever stay that nice.. without being affected the bumpy roads that waits ahead..

i want to be loved again.. by someone who love me as much as i loved them.. it is deeper than the sea and wider than the world.. the love that is beyond the universe..

i need to be loved again..

My 1st Post..

haah..
this is the first time im blogging..
after seeing others' for so long..
to show how amateur i am..
just look at the title of this post..(super cliche)

hehe..
anything to expect from this blog?..
dont expect anything..
cuz anything can be the post..
poems, expressions..
even essays (maybe)..