my birthday..

huhu.. so people.. my birthday fall on the 14th november.. and like every other year, i celebrate it with great moderation because i dont really fancy big celebration.. OMG, i just find out that i shared the same birthday with Tyson Ballou (the guy from D&G ads), Yuna (Malaysia's new singing act) and Prince Charles (the guy who got married to someone nice and still fall for an old hag).. what a powerful bunch.. i hope im going to be that powerful also some day..
so, lets talk about this year's celebration.. let me just put it in one word.. nice and simple.. wait.. that a phrase.. whatev.. and mostly homemade.. which made it so special.. hah, no place is better than your home.. and this year is all about family.. no friends were involved since everyone is so occupied with personal matters.. but i dont mind.. family first.. and of course no loved one.. haha.. i dont mind that either.. the celebration is all about food and talk.. hah.. love it..
oh, something to brag.. i baked my own cake.. a double layer strawbery and chocolate cake with chocolate coating and strawbery chips sprinkled on it.. and it tasted good.. haha.. Gosh, i do know how to cook.. but, i just dont want to.. haha
people, im one year older and really hope that im one year wiser too..

*happy*

Of not knowing the limit..

Okie, now I’m feeling like Bob from Monsters vs Aliens.. when he got confused about Ginormica’s boyfriend to be his own because he heard about that guy too much.. yup.. now I’m confused whether my friend’s partner is my own because everything that happened between them is told to me and even the unnecessary details.. unnecessary I mean private.. yup.. he just pass the boundary of sharing with a friend.. and some things told are so explicit, I was gawking and feeling disgusted as I’m listening.. yet, I don’t have the courage to say it directly to his face to stop telling me the unnecessary details.. I wish I could say “you know what, I just don’t freaking care.. because that person is with you.. not me”.. then I realized the same thing also happened to the partner side.. my friend keep relating the partner to me and comparing both of us.. say what man.. if I were the partner, obviously I would be offended.. it is like if your friend is so much like me, then am I special for you or not?.. from what you’re telling me.. im no different than your friend.. what is the whole point of the relationship.. that is what I would feel if im the partner.. some people are just blinded by emotion they can’t see the reality.. I have asked about this to my other friends and I got mixed reviews.. some said that it is positive and most said that it is negative.. especially about the private details.. that should be kept to yourself only.. take it out when asked or necessary only.. arghh.. I seriously don’t know how to say it to him without offending him.. because this has gone too far..

Then, there is also another friend of mine who constantly talks about his partner.. no matter during a guys nite out or a simple hanging around in the room.. there will always be a topic about the partner being talked.. OMG.. and it repeats by itself.. sometimes I could predict what is the next word that will come out from his mouth.. but I just ignore it.. sometimes I don’t really listen to what he got to say because it is none of my concern.. but in this case of this friend of mine at least I know who the partner is.. so, it is okay and I admit the partner is nice.. but the other one.. I don’t even know who the hell the person is and not keen to find out..

Back then, I used to do the same to a friend of mine.. but at that time my relationship was on the verge of breaking up.. it is normal for people to talk about their partner excessively when they are about to breakup.. it is because of the heartache.. but when you’re happy with the relationship and start to tell everything.. it nauseates people.. and im just wondering.. are you doing it to see whether im jealous or not.. well, newsflash.. I don’t care.. that is no reason to be jealous.. unless that person is my ex.. or crush.. then yeah.. if not.. I just don’t give a damn.. and don’t blame me if something happened between me and the person because you triggered it.. haha..

*I wish I was meaner.. the old me I mean*

i thought i have..

i thougt i have forgotten you.. i thought you bring no significance to my anymore..i thought i have got over you.. but i guess im not.. you still play a part in my life.. everytime i hear our song played in the air.. my eyes go teary.. air rushed out of my lungs.. i still deeply attached to you.. although i was the one who asked you to forget me.. stupid me.. i just cant help myself.. im weak without you.. but i would never admit that in front of you..

sometimes i regret the time when we were together.. i always show that expressionless face.. no matter what you did for me.. when you sing me the song.. i wanted to cry.. but i stopped myself.. i will never looked weak in front of you.. i never follow what i always wanted to do.. and i regret all that now.. how i missed you.. and your warmth..

seriously.. i pray i could forget you.. but for now.. i still cant..

*crying with a stern look*