turn negativity to positive energy..

so, as you all know, i am a student in my extended semester. yup, i could not finish on time due to my own choice. once people push me too much, i push away everything and start ignoring them. so, that is what happened and to be honest, at times, i do feel the regret sinking in me but at other times, i remind myself that this is a choice i made and one rule to live is to never be disappointed with any choice you made because if you do, then you are questioning your whole existence. yup, i am that harsh to myself, pray to the lord i will not be as harsh to my children later. haha

anyway, my batch mates had their convocation on last monday and it seems like a joyous day. maybe for some Frapjuous since they are the benchmark in their family. whatever it is, it is nice to see so many smiling faces but it saddened me as well as i am not a part of it. however, instead of dwelling in self pity and loathing, i decided that to use these pictures of smiling faces, instead of a slap to my face for shame, as a slap on my face to wake me up. they all believed in me at one point and i have failed them once, so i must not failed them again. i must work hard to get what i deserve, the same thing they had. maybe they won't be around during my time but i know i have succeeded thanks to them. so, that's it. those negative feelings i am feeling at the moment shall be turn into my working fuel.

please, life is to short to be living with hate..

*fired up*

bumpy ride or smooth sail?

Life is journey: Fact! there is a destination to it; Death: Fact! how it begins and how it ends is not up to us, that is the job of the higher power, but what happens in between, that is the life we're living is up to us. there are people who live a short while but it was worthwhile and some live for a long time but have been dead for the longest time. for me, living and dying is not about the beat of the heart, it is about the things you do to make you appreciate every breath you take and the memories you make. hence coming to the question; what sort of life do you aspire to have?? a smooth sail or a bumpy ride?

both have theirs cons and pros. let's not talk about it because it will take an eternity to finish.. or maybe more. the focus here is live your life the way you want it, do not fit into the mold of others because the people say so. yes, i know being deviant is not really a smart choice but come to think again, just how similar are you to the one next to you? how different are you to them? in my opinion, everyone is a deviant person for no two persons are the same, even identical twins, sharing DNA has noting to do with sharing personality. however, one needs to remember about some morals and ethics that one should have and use as a guide in going through life.

as for me, i am a fan of both because let's face it, life with no balance equals to early death, either physical (stop breathing) or emotional (not feeling alive). so, some smooth sailing journey remind me why i need those bumpy rides to be alive and those bumpy rides remind me that the goal here is to achieve the smooth sailing life. reciprocation is the key to being alive. live a balance life, don't dwell in negativity or positiveness to much because abundance of something is indulgence and over indulgence leads to abuse and abuse only brings you closer to the destination aforementioned: DEATH!

*random*