Saturday, January 21, 2012

i cannot sleep..

a very odd title for a very odd post. seriously, actually, i have been lying on my bed for nearly half an hour before i decide to get up and maybe write something. i dont know why, but lately sleeping has been difficult for me. well, i blame nothing but my previous semester. yes, i can safely call it previous since i am finished with all my examinations and assignments. this is one semester i am not interested in remembering. that is something i am sure of.

btw, currently i am ruled by one of the seven deadly sins. okie, i am usually controlled by at least one, most usual is pride, but this time by the one i hardly recognise. jealousy or covetousness or envy. yes, the green one. and the subject of envy is people around me who had gone back to their hometown and the fact that i am still here, in this ratchet place i call the city of education. well, i think i might offend some people for calling this place ratchet but please, you guys have no idea what has this place brought me. that is not the main point. the main point here is i am envious of people going away from this place.. gosh, i hope this feeling will go soon.. meh, knowing me, it wont last a few days..

hmm, let us talk about issues, first of all is my house. the rented one. now with the peeps that i am not fancy out, i can finally treat this place like a house. before this, i see it as a shelter for me to sleep due to the not so conducive environment. now, i can totally live in it. but, i must be remembered that those are just temporary happiness. last for one month only, then, they will be back and this house will turn into a shelter again. (btw, among the things i am doing at the moment is writing my shopping list, for the house)

then, friends. hmm, i must say friends have been nice to me. or maybe i turned more accepting. i dont know and i dont want to know. i think now i am more relaxed and petty matters wont bother me much anymore. i love this new found maturity, or i must say, self activated ignorance. now i believe in people when they say ignorance is bliss.

partner. i had my closure to my previous relationship. after one whole freaking year. we met and had one day. and we both realised the feeling had died. well, the person moved on and planned to marry the new significant other. i wish the both of you best of luck and be happy together. btw, thanks for the closure. i can move on now, knowing that my heart is back with me again. now, i am free to give it to someone new. definitely not someone like you. what? the relationship failed, so obviously i am looking for someone different because i cannot go with someone like you.

that is all i can think for now.. till later peeps.. out

*writing is something i cannot give up*