Saturday, January 19, 2013

The Calmness

At the moment, as I am writing this, I am at my hometown and in the comfort of my family. However, with the calmness that is overwhelming me at the moment, I am not sure whether this is the truth or a lie told by my mind to me to fog the truth that lies behind. It is the calm before the storm type of calmness. Well, I think I am just worried because I have not developed myself enough academically and personally.

As I am currently in my final year, I have two big things that are the obstacles that will hinder me from getting my degree. They are known as dissertation and practicum. Two of the biggest tasks that you will need to face in your tertiary education journey. To be honest, I don’t think that I am ready for any of those. Practicum? I don’t think I am a good teacher. Not that I don’t know my subject matter, I don’t think I have the personality to teach. Looking at previous assessment on teaching, I don’t think I will do good. However, I am positive that I will pass it. Though I might be good, I will be good enough. Hey, it is not only my education is on the line, my future students’ too. Their mistake due to my teaching will haunt me, forever! Huhu, yeah, I am aspired to improve education here.

For my dissertation, I am still not sure on what to write. I have the view of what to do but can I materialise it? That is the question. Plus, it must be research based which is a troublesome. But please, I need to finish this to get my degree so I will do my best to finish it. I must finish it or I will be finished!