Damn, do I still need to pay?

So, the government had introduced a scheme in which if you obtained a first class degree, your student loan, coming from this specific body, will be converted into a full blown scholarship. Upon hearing this sometime when I was starting my university life and a borrower from the body, I made it a mission of mine to pay with my head and not money. So, I busted my ass off most of the time to ensure that goal is achieved. Although to most, I seemed like the kind of person who gets thing given because I have the gift of the brain (at times, I also believe in this then I brush it off because I know that’s not true); the truth is I put a lot of effort in my studies in order to convert that loan to scholarship. Thanks be to God, I passed my bachelor’s degree with a first class degree. However, along the way, I stumbled upon a big hurdle in my final semester. I was not allowed to graduate on time, among my friends, due to my mini thesis. Yup, that one freaking assessment that may be the demise of my main goal since the last four years.

The thing is, I forgot to read the terms and conditions for the conversion. I did not know there is a clause for one must graduate on time in order to be eligible for the conversion and in my case, I missed on time by a semester due to my mini thesis. Upon knowing this, to be honest, I was bummed. I sat in my room for a few days, crying, or should I say, bawling! Like having your dream in your hand then it slips away because you didn’t realize there’s a puddle in front of you and now the dream is shattered to a thousand pieces with no chance of putting back together. What a bummer! My family keep on asking me to ask the corporation regarding this, but looking at their track records, they are vicious!

I have slimmed down my hopes to almost none.So now, I am slapped with a 30k worth of debt and I have yet to begin my life. Now, this is what hollow victory feels like. Empty. Nothing. Useless. Awesome, I can totally say the effort I put for 4 years has gone down the drain. Good job Sai! Just to ease my heart, I tell myself, the payment I am going to do will be for the use of my future children.. if I were to have any..

*bummed and shocked*