Sunday, January 4, 2015

the biggest enemy..

the new year has arrived and i am still bringing the baggage from last year. what a way to start a year huh? new year new beginning, i really want to believe in this so hard but let's be realistic, these baggages still are pulling me back. the thing is, these baggages are placed by none other than me. yeah, the owner of this vessel that keeps my soul, if there's any because most people say i don't have it because i am kind of too practical at most times, i forget how to be a human. anyway.. yeah, i am realising this fact now more than ever. i scared myself shitless with the trauma i had from experiences before. i tell myself i can never do something because i haven't tried it. the worst, i placed envy and covet in my heart from looking at others. dear, this is what living in the gutter (metaphorically!) made you into. a self deprecating piece of shit.

so, not being pretentious, just a very needed resolution, i will make my life better. i will stop self sabotaging and blaming the world for it. i will drink the medicine, aka reality, despite how bitter it is because if you don't make the first step back into the reality, you will always be in that delusional state and mine is not honey and flowers, more like wasp and polluted fields..

2 comments:

Haki said...

The drive back into reality is always a little harder than the drive into oblivion but it is worth it and you can do it and this will be a good year and we are all just figuring things out by reading the road signs. Haha... Good luck in 2015, Sai. :)

junior_sysco said...

i hope so.. i believe this is the year where our roads will be paved towards our goals! congrats btw Haki for the offer for masters!! i'll follow suit, but not now..:)