im feeling very..

the emotional turmoil in myself has started to turned into a bugger.. it disturbs me all the time.. it gives me weird feelings and all sort of emotion in less than a few second.. one second i might be that happy person.. the next i might be horny, emo and the worst pessimist.. out of the sudden i just can burst into tears.. crap about insignificant matters.. laughing my heart out.. and all within a very little time constrain.. am i having some kind of mental illness or what.. is it because i've been keeping everything in myself for too long until i can no longer control the emotions i have?? please.. i dont want to be like this anymore.. seriously, the time of my depression has been one of the worst period of my life and somehow im feeling that it is relapsing.. go away.. dont come near me again.. let me enjoy my youth.. damn you depression.. you've been into my life once and you shall not return.. i dont want you.. seriously.. im scaring a lot of people.. including myself for my own behaviour.. somebody out there.. come and save me. hehe.. that sounds corny.. i dont think i need professional help though.. i just need someone to share all these with.. and that person is yet to be found.. and no offense.. it is not that friends cant help me.. but i need more.. damn.. im crazy..

*crazy*