life.. as it goes..

hmm.. recently, my life starts to look like a student.. study sessions start.. assignments start coming in.. groups are being reformed.. so, my study life has been great and normal so far.. i hope no more countless nights of waking up and last minutes work this semester.. dont procrastinate Sai.. huhu..
however, my actual life hasnt been that nice.. im still out of love.. yup.. you might think that this is no big deal.. well, i thought the same way too.. at first.. but later in time.. it starts to takes its toll on me.. seriously, it is way painful.. and i starts to talk about it all the time.. and my friend once asked me whether those guys who appeared in my life previously are true people or not.. because i never kept any picture of them in my possession.. i cant keep them actually.. firstly.. it is wrong.. secondly.. i will then look at those pictures over and over again.. and think of the olden days and finally end up.. crashing myself up into million pieces.. i cant bear seeing their faces again.. especially you, ***.. you know who you are.. you got me real bad.. drifting away from you is hard.. and i hope i can go through it.. even falling in love with someone new still won't take my mind of you.. which im currently doing it at the moment.. it is just myself.. every time something bad happened in my love life.. i tend to let love spell backfire..
i know this might sounds lame.. but that is the truth.. im not all strong, bubbly guy that people see.. im a whole different person inside.. but i shall never let the inner ME get out again because it has gone out once.. and i affected everyone with the negative vibe it brings.. help me leash my inner self.. dont pull its trigger..

*acting calm*