5 stages of mourning..

i got my inspiration to write this post after watching an episode of grey's Anatomy on TV last saturday.. i did not know that George O'Malley died.. anybody care to tell me?.. anyway, it was mostly about how they all were treating their grief due to the death.. and although i have no prior knowledge about the 5 stages of grief/mourning, i seem to be able to answer them correctly. however, i experience this not in death, but in breakups.. thus, breakup for me is equivalent to death..

first, the stage of denial.. yup, at first, you can never except the fact that the thing just happened to you. you will deny it with all your heart that it did not happened and everything was just a bad dream and you will wake up from it one day. you will have a lot of outburst to try denying the whole situation. but seriously people, there is no point of telling this to yourself. it has happened and you just have to accept the fact..

then, it is the anger stage. at this stage, you will always be furious. you hate everything. the situation, the person, people's advice and everything that came to you. easily said, you hate life and you just fill your days with anger. this affects not only you but also people surrounds you. i remember when i was having this moment with my first breakup and i lash my anger to everyone and i hated my ex to the limit. the thought of my ex enraged me. then, i talked bad of my ex and how i wish we never met. i was filled with anger and all i could think is killing that persson for killing my soul and self.

later, i moved to the stage of bargaining. to be honest, i hate this stage the most. this is the time i comfort myself by saying that maybe it could still be fix. this is the time where the thought of reconciliation comes. and you will say to yourself that everything will be alright and we are gonna be happy like how we used to be. yeah right.. like that will ever happen.. never..

then, the depression stage. this comes late in the process and i must say the most dreadful of all. at this time, nothing seems meaningful. you lose your sense of living. the future is bleak and dark. you can see no future but just a blank space and a wasted life ahead of you. bad thoughts will race to you and mostly are morbid thoughts. i mean serious morbidity. then, you will cry your heart out and do a lot of self harming actions. as for me, i stopped eating and socialising. this stage goes slowly and as long as you in it, you could say your sanity is on the border. some can never go beyond this stage and ended up ending their life.

finally is the acceptance. after everything is over, you could get a grip on yourself and finally say to yourself that it is okie and it is about time to move on. how blissful it is to reach that stage..

that is just what i think i should share about the 5 stage of grief.. i think most of us had or will go through this stages..

*long overdue due to lack of inspiration and connection*