Tuesday, February 15, 2011

That is so not cool..

You were dumped. You were left heartbroken. You were slapped on the face by a simple goodbye. You were told that the relationship could no longer be saved. Easily said, you were ruined due to the breakup. Up till now, the pain and wound are yet to heal and all you could do is diverting your focus away from the pain to the things that you used to love. The person that you love or fond of. The person who was partially the reason for the breakup. The sunshine of your day. The reason of your smile and happiness. The one that give you the will to carry on (besides God of course). The Tower that brings you to the peak of your heart.

But, when you search for that person, it will be so hard to find. Just like happiness. The more you search for it, the less appearance it makes. But just by knowing the existence is actually more than enough to keep you satisfied. Seriously, when you have lost all places you could hang on, you would not mind drifting on air. You only hear stories about the person. But you never see the person in person. Maybe it is for the better. Your heart may be too vulnerable to accept the fact that you and the person is just impossible due to the untreated wound and pain from the breakup with someone you used to dearly love.

Then, one day you got news about the person. News that you wish you never heard. News that the person has now changed. No longer the person you knew, or fond of. The news about how the person has become similar to the one who walked away from your life. The one who left you devastated. The one who shattered your heart into a million pieces with no intention of putting them back together. Seriously, the visual is disturbing and numbing at the same time. You felt a deep stomp on your heart. Stepped by nothing else but the bitter memories of the breakup. You are now lost in the deepest core of sadness and regret.

That is so not cool. Just when you thought there is a chance for you to heal and get up, you were crushed again by your own crush. it hurts real bad, it is salt on open wounds. All you could do is keep it inside and tell it to the stars and moon on a crying night.