okie, malay proverb would say, "yang dikejar x dapat, yang dikendong berciciran" summarized my whole situation right now. yup, the one i chased is nothing near reach and the one i have, or i thought would love to have me, is totally, i mean fully, ignores me. so now, i am at loss. no one else to blame but yours truly. okie, now i know what it means by do not chase those who you love, but find someone who loves you. in my case, i realised about this fact a little, not a little, by a semester that is, too late..
as i was busy trying to chase for the person i wanted, who else, Tower of course, paid full focus on Tower and closed my sight for other options. little that i know that the person who has been checking me out is not as bad. well, i would say the person is well equipped. cars, cute face, brain capability and not to mention charm is enough for me. but, stupidly, i dis the person to chase something beyond reach. now, more than ever, i wish i could turned back time and say "let's try".. instead of just dissing without trying to know any better. how i regret that now..
man, i wish i was not that stupidly loyal okie. i am loyal by nature, not by will. i pay attention on one, and never to many. oh, how i wished this is not part of me. as for now. im healing my heart again. man, my life is nothing but a never ending process of healing and mending broken heart. my own heart that is..