no title...

yup.. i have no title for this post.. it is just one of my expression that could be in a lot of topic.. it could be about love.. hate.. life.. work.. stress.. unsure.. it can be anything.. it is up to you to decide..
recently, i've been hanging out with a.j, my friend and also fellow blogger more than we usually do.. maybe i found him to be the most trustworthy at this time.. then, i have been acting very cold to someone because i could not stand the betrayal that person had done to me.. it is rather unacceptable.. recently, someone has started becoming closer to me.. for god sake knows why.. maybe he could not find company in others.. but im not a very nice person and seriously.. i felt annoyed by his behaviour.. then, the number of assignments do not seem to go down.. instead, keep on piling up till a level that are too scary and i sometimes question my capability.. my results have been below par.. im scared.. i want to be good.. i dont want to be average.. i want to be superior.. not inferior.. i hate this part.. somehow, right now, im feeling rather irritated towards one thing that was my favourite things to do.. acting.. it just doesn't seem to be fun anymore.. hah.. i dunno how to react to this matter.. it is around two more weeks.. and that is it.. no more.. end of asasi Tesl batch july2008/2009.. my life woul be different again.. i will start anew somewhere..

*thinking of past, present and future*

browsing through blogs..

hmm.. recently i have came out with new found interest.. visiting other people blogs and see what they have to write about themselves.. and i never thought that i could find so much fun doing it.. some stories, im able to relate them to my own life.. some are just inspiring.. some are just plain expressions from their heart.. and i sometimes realised that my blog is way shorter compared to the others.. maybe i keep a lot to myself.. or i just dont know what to write.. i somehow feel very small in this blogging world.. but hey.. im still new to this.. so, there are still time for me to learn how to blog nicely.. to other bloggers.. i really appreciate if u guys could comment on the way im handling my blog.. every review is worthy.. that is all for now..

later..

*humble*

My name is Paris..

i know this may sound weird and a corny.. some may even thinks that im a snob who thinks highly of myself.. but then again i just realised that i act like most people with the name of Paris.. for instance, my friends know me for my Paris Hilton's behaviour.. you know the i dont care about others.. it's all about me kind of behaviour.. then im also super competitive and i could never admit defeat.. i stressed myself out, just because of something trivial.. got into crappy relationship.. just like Paris from Gilmore Girls..

there you see.. im a Paris.. huhu.. sad..

*depression rising*

people says..

Hmmm.. nowadays.. i hardly find anytime to spend to write something in my blog.. usually.. im just plain busy.. with assignments and work need to be done.. before the deadline.. everything is just too much.. but then again.. as a student.. im not supposed to complain.. just do it.. and all these have pile up pressures in me.. not pressure in the sense of how many pascal or gravity but.. stress.. yup.. stress.. nowadays, sleep is very hard to attain.. and once attained it is not easy to get up.. anger is easily triggered.. without notice and for very minor stuff.. some of them even say they could sense the stress even by just looking at my face.. really?.. im so sorry about that.. life is just not going very smoothly for me right now.. but, there is more to life than just pathetic stress.. a lot more can be done.. so, dont let the stress control yourself.. have fun..

*not being so serious*

bad things happen.. all in the same time..

aarrrggghh.. this week has been very hectic for me.. with a lot of work needed to be done and submitted.. im exhausted.. and as expected.. at this time.. fate just love to play with you.. suddenly technology turn their back on you.. and you tend to blame fate.. and it is against the rules in religion.. and at this time.. thousands of curses start to appear.. and people are being screamed at.. so sorry for that.. but i dont regret it.. i dont mind telling my thoughts to myself.. i just curse to myself.. not to others.. the one who should offended would be technology.. because.. i do get mad at technology.. but in the end.. we pull ourselves through and finish our work..
then, get involved in another work.. damn.. who would have thought talking can be very tiring.. especially if you do it from morning till late evening.. but it was rather enjoyable as you get to meet new people.. but i was also rather disappointed with the reality that i just figure out.. sad..
haaahh... everything is just a tiresome nowadays and i hardly reach the second decade of my life.. WTH..

*tired.. exhausted.. not resting*

hate..love..what else can people give me?

recently, something come up to my senses.. im hated by some members of the 'G' community.. the 'b' especially.. for who knows why.. they just hate me from the first time they see me.. and it is happening everywhere.. not only in my hometown.. but also the place im living now.. weird.. and most of them.. we hardly even met one another before.. they just know they have to hate me.. what in the..
different story.. im also being loved by some of the 'G' community.. the 't' then.. hehe.. maybe that the whole reason why the 'b's are hating me.. competition then.. but let them be.. they wont do any harm to me at all.. hahaha..

huhu.. gimme more..

*accepting fate*

Reflecting life through literature

Recently, I learned about one short story that for many is nothing important to them. They only learn it just to pass their examinations and so forth. But for me, this story brings a different meaning in my life. It somehow very connected to who I am. The loner. A person who has no one to talk to , so I settled to just observe the others and feel as if I am part of them. Through this story, it makes me realizes that life is not always be a bed of roses, it has its ups and downs, it is up to us how we face it. Sometimes, we feel like having a life like the people that we have observed. These are the people that we gave most attention to. Not because of covetousness, but just plain admiration. And it is funny how little details can turn our feeling. One thing that is interesting is without realizing it; we are not the only one who are observant. While we are busy observing others, there will also be others who observe us. During this time, we usually figure out something about ourselves. But sometimes, it is just us; the others might not be having the same thoughts. We might be thinking we have the right to be there, while the others may think of the opposite. And knowing the fact that we are not wanted is very painful and deep. It can turn us down completely. It can make us thinks that life is cruel and there is no point of continuing it. But maybe, just maybe, there are people who might be concerned about us. Sometimes, being criticized by others also can be very hurtful, especially for the things that you love so much. But just bear in mind, what others think of you is not important as long as you know what you do is right. It is alright to cry sometimes, to treat your sorrow, but never went too far for it.

Let just read and try to reflect the story with yourself

Don’t just read, get into the story

Then, no story is a boring story anymore

*feeling accompanied*

huhu.. life..

hahh.. what's new about my life.. nothing much.. it is just that i have learn to live happily.. there is no point of being gloomy all the time.. i have learn to think less and do more .. i have learn to have fun and not feeling guilty about it.. i have learn that life is not bad, there is always ups and downs.. i am filling up my free time with my works.. that will keep me busy and forget about the rush in daily life.. i have also figure out something in my life.. it is rather funny but i just let it be.. it is not everyday we could see paranoia happening before our very eyes.. hehe.. sometimes, we just have to be observant and look around you.. see the actual picture.. then, you can live in peace without a lot worries..

life.. what goes around comes around..

*silence*