being alone..

okie.. let me tell u guys something about myself.. although im always seen with frieds all around me.. im actually is a loner.. i somehow love to live in secrecy.. doing everything on my own. sitting alone in a dark room.. only me and no one else.. sometimes, i dont understand myself either.. i dont find people's company to be bad.. but i prefer being alone.. like my friend once said to me.. " u always have your private time for yourself sai..".. it is nothing bad about having friends around.. but i tend to get irritated when they are always around.. no offense.. but sometimes i dont feel like talking to anyone.. and i think my friends do notice about my behaviour.. lol.. of course they realise.. but why do i like being alone.. it is boring and up to an extend.. tiring for doing nothing.. but ot is the freedom of being who i want to be is the pleasure that im looking for.. again.. like what i always say about myself.. im not who they think i am.. and sometimes when im alone.. memories starts coming back.. and some are sweet while some are haunting.. bad memories that i dont want to remember anymore.. call me selfish.. call me emo.. i dont really care because this is what i am.. a big, fat loner..

*lonely*