Monday, August 24, 2009

losing identity..

i used to be at the top.. i used to.. but now is no longer.. im feeling that my wheel of fate has turned.. im now on the ground.. no longer way above.. im lower than those i felt superior before.. im worse than those i hate or look down before.. i have loss my old self.. im nothing now compare to anyone else.. i used to feel success.. and praises.. showering on me most of the time.. though there were failure before.. but now.. i feel like i've failed way before i even started.. smiles used to be carved on my face all the time before.. now, u can see the cloud on my face from miles away.. i used to look so happy and feel so lively.. now, all i feel is sadness and my face is ever gloomy.. i understand that success never comes easily.. but i felt defeated, even before i do anything.. i used to laugh loudly.. sincerely.. but now.. my laugh is rather full of hypocrisy.. i used to see life as meaningful.. there is always more to life.. but now.. i feel as if it is just a lie.. and death is so beautiful.. i used to cry.. to comfort my heart.. but now.. my tears never streamed down anymore.. it is overwhelmed by my ego and arrogance.. im used to be conquered by, envy takes that place.. and maybe sloth too.. with a bit of wrath.. with pure lust and greed.. luckily no gluttony.. i have lost the old ME.. what is left is just an insignificant entity..



Ariff Dean said...

What is death? It is not so horrible as a life lived wrongly...

but please, don't lose yourself just yet
you can never replace my place as the numero uno emo guy in fact ya know?