i think i am changing right now. i mean both physically and emotionally. most of people said that i look thinner nowadays although what i feel is i put on more weight. well, maybe i still could not get over my anorexic mindset just yet. do not worry, it is going to go away soon, i hope (pray hard, real hard). then, emotionally, i think im returning to the right path. i start looking at the right direction. the opposite. not the same. and obscenities sometimes arise in my little mind seeing this. haha, never did see that coming to me. i am somehow happy with this change and most of my friends too. they are glad at least one good thing has happened to me. they were a bit wondering when i uttered some weird lines which i never uttered before, once they figured out the actual situation they were like 'yeay'ing for me as if i had accomplished something big. maybe it is big. who knows.
as for the L word, i could just say, i am not so ready for one. i am still comfortable being alone for now. currently i do have someone but i am in the process of letting that someone go since i don't think i could commit to the whole relationship and i somehow not interested in having a relationship now as i see the one that particular someone is offering is so against who i am now. so, sorry Sayang but you just have to find someone else. there are other men who are better than i am. i am just not made for you. you are perfect, but not for me. sorry to play with you. (just in case, i talked to the someone already about this, i am so not breaking up on blog.. euww, disgusting). as for my crushes, i don't have any anymore. i lost my interest on both of them. one due to true colours and the other because the feelings has died in me. sorry guys, you just lost a fan. a stalker actually. hahaha..
oh, this is recent. i just did a test on one of the toughest subject in my studies. and i could conclude the test as a big headache, literally. OMG, it was too painful for my head to bear until i did not even check for my final answers as the pain was killing me. and my instructor was giving me the cynical smile all the way through the exam. she knew i was in pain. maybe it satisfied her as before i was so relaxed when i answered her test before. she finally got her vengeance on me. okie, you win. i don't hate you, i want to be like you. and i will be, someday. till then, i must work hard.
that is all for now..