i feel empty inside..

once i found out about the truth my friend had told me earlier from another friend.. my heart just became empty. all emotion were sucked away and what is left is just a empty space to be filled with who knows what.. maybe sorrows or happiness.. it is my choice.. but for now. it is empty. nothing to fill it with. let fill my brain with studies so that i could forget the emptiness in my heart.

guess you wont be towering in front of me anymore, Tower, since you're going away to USA this August. i wish you all the best and i should say, you gave my life a meaning before. you inspired me and you made life so wonderful just by knowing your existence....

gosh, who am i lying by writing all these flowery words.. what i should say is how shattered is my heart currently when i heard that news. how i lost my drive to do everything. how i cried when i know i will never see you anymore.. how much i want to say my heart out to you.. how i feel like an idiot for liking someone who dont even acknowledge my existence.. that is what i should write about.. about how stupid i am for you.. you made me make a fool of myself.. Gosh, F**k that i love you.. i hate you because i love you so much..without even doing anything.. by just be there for my eyes to see and for my senses to savour..

gosh, i am barely holding on right now.. i am going to stop thinking about you.. for now.. going to focus on something else.. like studies.. why this thing always happened during examination season.. this happened last two years and history is repeating itself..

*angrily sad*