Without Realizing It

After a very long while, I just realized something in my life.. all this time.. my life is being influenced by someone.. never try to guess who.. because your answer will always be wrong.. now, I’ve been questioned by others and also myself.. why did I ever follow and obey to all ‘it’ commands and tales.. most of all, how I could stand its behavior and self-bringing.. now, I often wonders about it.. sometimes, I know that it stories might most probably be not true.. but then again I choose to believe.. sometimes, I get annoyed with how it behave.. but I just bare with it.. most of the time, I choose to hate people just because it tells me to do so.. without actually knowing the whole reason why must I hate that particular person.. I even hate the person I loved so much, just because it says that the person is no good.. without finding out the actual facts.. and at that time, we were just about to get to know each other better.. how could I be so dumb.. and once I through with the person I could be with.. it tries his luck on that person.. in front of me.. not behind my back.. up to the extend that I would never done.. and boast about it to me.. which hurts more and makes me wonder.. Why???.. it also interferes with people problems for goodness sake knows why… sometimes, even more that the actual person who really involved in the problem.. another thing that bothers me so much is that somehow nowadays, im involved in greater problems and some of them I should not even get involved with in the first place because it introduce me to them.. the ‘Them’ refers to the problems and the people it introduces to me.. some people are just born to find mess on this massive world..

Another things that just come up recently is a feeling uplift towards a person.. a person that I used to see as nothing but just a friend.. now my feeling towards the person is more to affection and care.. and I cant tell where it all started.. it just happens.. from just playing a game on the person,.. soon develops into a genuine feeling.. hehe.. matters of hearts.. it is so mysterious.. we never know when it going to play a trick on us.. and it is getting more prominent from day to day.. let just see how it goes..

*confused*