i dont smile that much nowadays..

usually, when people first see me.. they will always notice that im a bubbly person who always smile to everyone.. even if i dont know who that person was.. the guy who would talk and laugh his heart out at the jokes, without taking care of the surrounding.. a person who says whatever he wanted to say no matter if it would hurt anyone.. a person that is so firm and rigid, even a slight change can be argued for hours if things do not go his way.. but, that's all in the past.. now, im more reserved.. i dont smile that much.. always looked troubled.. very quiet.. especially in decision making.. care less about his surrounding.. to conclude all.. lame.. and my new self is somehow disturbing my friends as i dont contribute much in conversation anymore.. and i dont really care about what happened around me.. im so not centred to anywhere or anyone.. and one thing for sure.. im not as bold as before.. they say they miss the old me.. i miss him to.. i want him to come back.. but i dont know how..

*wanting my old self*