Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Sadness, I just don’t get you..

These few days, my life has been upside down. My mood swings extremely fast. I am easily saddened by anything lovely. I seriously recalled my previous relationships and every memory hurts me to the limit. I have been crying silently in my sleep. I somehow do not see the purpose of living at some point and at times, I just want to give up on everything. Including life. I had a feeling like my depression was returning back to me. OMG, I do not want that to happen again. So today, I going to lash out all my sorrow and despair on a piece of paper, write myself a poem about how my heart feels and finally let go of the sadness.
Seriously, I don’t really get it why I feel such way in the first place. It is not like people from my past come back and haunt me or sort. It just came without my notice. All I know, suddenly I am troubled by my memories. Let it be sad or happy, every memory hurts. So, I thought to myself, it is about time I take control of myself again. Cognitive over emotion. Be more productive and sadness, I can seriously put you aside and ignore you. I know to eradicate is impossible, so I will learn how to live with sadness which might be overwhelming at times. Till then, I am so forgetting you sadness..