im done with it...

i know how much i love and care for the person.. but then again.. i have to remember to 1 big fat fact of life.. the person is not into me.. no matter what i do or try to do.. there is just no way.. but please.. no regret k.. though it might sounds sad but i can just get on with life.. we are just not meant to be.. we were not supposed to be.. let this story remains silent and shall never be discussed again..

acting has always been a part of my life.. professionally or in daily life.. easier said.. i act most of my life.. what people see at me, usually is not what i am inside.. therefore, faking happiness and contentment is not a hard work for me.. and that is needed in excessive amount these days.. it's like a never-ending soap drama that i just could not find out when it is going to end.. so, i keep on playing my part.. but sometimes, i just want to be who i am inside.. the great loner.. who sometimes dip himself deeply into pit of sadness.. the person who is afraid to do a lot of stuffs.. expressing my feeling.. able to say what i really want.. make my own decision.. strive for what i want.. i know i sound rather 'emo'-ish.. i know i sometimes lash out all my sadness on this blog.. but then.. this is the only place where i can be who i want myself to be.. not a hypocrite.. like i always does in the actual world..

*settled for...??*