Gimme a break.. will ya?

I thought I am strong. I thought I could for once, handle it. I thought after all those years, I might be ready for this. But the reality is just too painful for me to face. What am I talking about here? Well, it is actually about being in a long distance relationship, or simply said LDR. I saw a friend of mine was being so interested in this matter since he was about to go through one (currently is) and I thought to myself, it will never work. I had been into several and all failed miserably. Thus, I am at no position to believe that it will work. But it looks like things are going fine for him. Okie, good for you.

As for me, I have been in constant contact with one of my ex, let just call the person S, who flew to Perth, Australia about a year ago. We broke up at the airport since I cannot bear long distance relationship. But, nothing change. Even when we are far apart, the care for one another is the same. I never forget S and always have the same amount of care. It is as if we were never separated. After long thought, I decided to try LDR with S. But, I will put it under complicated relationship since we could never categorise what our real relationship is.

However, it lasted only for a few days. I can’t stand the fact that you are far away. Yeah, when I am not in a relationship, I am okie with the distance, but when we make it official, I got tensed up. I can’t focus on anything. I just want you. Finally, I made a call and said

“ can you gimme a break? I promise I’ll try this again once the holidays begin. I can’t focused with you on my mind. I can think no other but you..”

And S replied with nothing but just a smile and okie.. thank goodness. Well, of course S understands me. We were together before. So honey, I’m committing this holidays okie. Not now...

*on break*